Walpole, MA – Back to back losses would put most teams into an unrecoverable tailspin this late in the season, but not the Penguins. Not this season. The Penguins dropped their last two games on back-to-back nights, yet came off the ice with a positive attitude.
“Although it was not the outcome we wanted, all in all we did a lot of things right,” stated Penguins’ Coach Jacques Douchey. “Gugs showed-up before the start of the 1st period, Wallace just plain showed-up, R-Tags remembered he had a game, Moura found his skates and K-Roode managed to hold his anger down long enough to make it through the entire game without an ejection. What can I say?!? I’m proud of these boys!”
The Penguins skated with only 6 skaters on Sunday night, dropping the game to Goochies 4-1. Monday night the Penguins lost by a score of 3-2 against division leaders Noon Hill Grill. Both games could have been won by the Penguins.
“On Sunday we played with 1-sub and Sherwood was a gimp with a bad shoulder,” admitted Wilmot during a conversation from his home. “Monday night we kept the game close but weren’t able to take the lead. I’m out there scoring and assisting. I cannot do it all! I need some support out there as well!”
Wilmot had an assist in Monday night’s game, and has been on a scoring spree grabbing more points in the last few games than he has in his entire lifetime. Wilmot has started calling himself WMD, as he considers himself to be the Penguins very own Wilmot of Mass Destruction.
On a down note, key players such as Youngblood and Vaughan were missing from both games, and rumors in the hockey world abound.
“We can neither confirm nor deny the rumors around these two players,” stated team official Burt Lamblaster, during this morning’s press conference. “As neither player has responded to our phone calls, we can only go off the same rumors that you all have. At this point in time it appears both players have decided to sit out the rest of the NESHL season in order to organize a group called ‘A-holes for A-Rod’. We are being told that this organization believes A-Rod is innocent of all crimes, and has only committed ‘crimes of passion’. We don’t know what this means. It kind of scares us to be honest.”
Another concern for the team is in regard to the lack of Big Matty on the ice. Matty usually skates at least 4 out of 19 games in the Summer Season, which officially ensures his status on the team as a “Player”. However, as he has only played in three games this Summer, his status has officially been modified to ‘Sponsor’, which puts him in direct violation with the team’s Single Sponsor per Season clause.
“Big Matty is in strict violation of the Single Sponsor Clause,” stated Rick Pinkerton, spokesman for Provo Liquors who currently sponsors the Penguins. “The clause clearly states that there can be only one sponsor per season. We ask that Matty cease and desist all sponsorship activities at this time. His reckless misuse of sponsorship money is a flagrant violation of the rights of all true sponsors! We will not rest until Matty is behind bars or at least plays in one more game!”
The Penguins have a chance at redemption next Monday night, as they take on Goochie’s Café for the second time in three games. The team will have to do it without WMD, as WMD will be traveling to Afganastan in order to put on his very own hockey exhibition called ‘Pucks for Peace: A Kinder Gentler WMD”.
No comments:
Post a Comment