With last season a distant memory, the Penguins began preparations for the upcoming summer season, starting with the acquisition of hockey child-prodigy Nick Almeida. Almeida, who played three-seasons with the Penguins Junior affiliate, the Cedar Junction Jaguars, promises to be one of the best drafts in team history.
“The kid has shown pure brilliance on the ice,” commented Bill Rickshaw, spokesman for the Penguins. “He can skate both forward and backwards, which is real nice. It will be a novelty for this Penguins team to have someone that skilled out there. We only hope he doesn’t alienate the other players with the whole backwards skating thing. Man that is cool stuff!”
With the pick-up of the young star, the Penguins are poised to make a serious run at the Summer Cup, and are expected to make it deep into the playoffs in August.
The off-season also saw the Penguins make a move that surprised even the most savvy hockey insider. The Penguins applied for and were approved to begin renovations at both Iorio and Foxboro ice arenas. After their last game it was noted that there was ‘just not enough room in the penalty box’, which was both uncomfortable, and a fire hazard.
“It was noted that the Penguins had between three and four players in the penalty box throughout the entire game,” noted Jason Cameron, Foxboro Fire Chief. “The penalty boxes are not designed to handle that many players and this is clearly a violation of the Penalty Box Fire Safety Code, or the PBFSC. If there were to have been a fire, those poor bastards never would have gotten out in time. It brings a tear to my eye just thinking of their charred bodies piled up in the penalty box, stacked in front of the penalty door, trying to get out. We had to slap an injunction on the team for this egregious crime! No one wants a charred Penguin!”
In order to prevent such violations in the future, the Penguins applied and were approved for a permit to begin building an addition onto the penalty boxes at both arenas.
“Our goal is to ensure the safety of our players,” stated Rickshaw. “When we picked up Almeida we already had plans to begin renovations on the penalty boxes. I don’t know if you saw this kid’s PIM, but let’s just say he has already made it into the record books. And after that last game, it became painfully obvious we needed to do something drastic. I think there were more players in the penalty box than on the bench at one point. It was just time.”
The work is scheduled to begin next week, and includes modifications to the boxes that include the addition of a sauna, vending machines, a weight room and two massage tables.
“Because space is the big issue, we are also adding a second-floor,” continued Rickshaw. “The upper level of the penalty box will be geared to rest and relaxation. The design is not complete, but at a minimum there will be ¼ mile track and a yoga center. And of course there will be both an elevator and stairs in case of an emergency.”
Work is scheduled to be completed in time for the start of the upcoming season, and is a welcome change for the fire department and the players.
“I just need a place to stretch-out and relax,” admitted Roode 2, from his home. “It will be nice to have more room in there, and maybe even do some yoga. I used to be in the box by myself, but now with all the company, I’m looking forward to being able to just relax and have a enough room to work-out.”
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