Walpole, MA – With the looming Home for Our Troops Hockey Tournament only weeks away, new allegations have arisen citing that the Penguins tour bus, which has been in for repairs, is missing. The tour bus had been in the shop for the past two years, undergoing both mechanical and cosmetic repairs, in order to be used by the Penguins players for both home and away games. With the team gearing up for the tournament, the news of the missing bus has the entire organization concerned.
“I can’t think of worse news right now,” admitted John Turco, spokesman for the Penguins. “We are playing some great hockey right now, and we don’t need any distractions. We were really counting on the bus for the upcoming tournament as well. Of course we could just drive the five or so miles to the rink, but that defeats our ability to game-plan, as well as to watch movies and play Xbox. This is really tough news.”
Along with the mechanical repairs, the Penguins bus was being completely revamped with customized leather seats with Penguins logos, as well as custom paint on the outside that would include pictures of each of the players faces. The final design was kept a secret from both player and fan, although it was believed that the bus would also come fully equipped with a puck dispenser in the bathroom.
In the upcoming pre-tournament ceremony planned for next week, the Mayor of Walpole was to hand the team a key to the city, at which point the new team bus was to be unveiled. The news of the missing bus has put a damper on this much anticipated event. Although it was believed that the bus was in the final preparation phase for the unveiling, an anonymous source has come forward with the terrible news.
According to the source, the bus has been missing for the past six months, and no one, including the shop owner, knows the whereabouts.
“I had to do the right thing,” commented the anonymous source. “I’m a huge Penguins fan, and I couldn’t keep it a secret any longer. The team bus has been missing for months now, and my boss wasn’t going to say anything. We haven’t been doing anything but hiding in the garage, and drinking beer. I would love to tell everyone who I am, but I’m the only other employee at the garage. If I gave my name it would be obvious it was me telling everyone about this issue. By staying anonymous I can keep my job, and still do the right thing.”
A full investigation is underway, however, very little evidence has been found at the garage. The shop owner, Doug Lewowsky, has been brought in for questioning, but no further information was released to the media.
“It makes me sick to my stomach,” stated Ben Collins, Penguins General Manager. “How will we get to our games or practices? I’m tired of people just saying ‘do what you have always done, and drive there in your cars’. That is a cop-out! The bus was going to be really cool. I’m not sure if the team can go far in the tournament without the bus.”
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