Penguins Enjoy Happy Hour

Walpole, MA – Laissez les bons temps rouler! Let the good times roll! The Provo Penguins did just that last night, with an impressive 11-6 win over Happy Hour at the Iorio Arena. The Penguins gave a complete team effort, with nine Penguin’s players racking-up points in what is being called, ‘The Biggest Game of Their Lives’!

“It felt good,” admitted Wilmot, after the game. “It felt good to pickup two goals, and to show the team a skill that I have, that has not led to a restraining order. So that is nice!”

The point-festival began in the first period with a goal by S. Hickey, who ended up with three goals and two assists on the night. Once the scoring started, the flood-gates opened, and the Penguins went on a scoring rampage, with goals coming form; Bilbo (1), Lutfy (1), Sherwood (1), Tragakis (2), P. Hickey (1), Wilmot (2), S. Hickey (3). The team also pitched in with the assists; Roode II (1), Lutfy (1), Sherwood (1), Tragakis (1), Curchin (2), S. Hickey (2).

Some of the highlights included Tragakis chest-bumping the puck into the net, leading to a bitter Bilbo reminding him that he was ‘lucky to be in the right place at the right time’.

“That kind of talk is absolute [expletive]!” argued an angry Tragakis. “What the [expletive] does Bilbo think I’m working on every Friday during public hockey?! The [expletive] chest-bump, damn it! This is just [expletive] ridiculous! I’m out of here!”

Aside from some massively chippy, verging on Jets-like end of AFC championship game play by Happy Hour, the Penguins kept their win-streak alive.

“It was a complete team effort,” stated Pete Nipper, Penguins new GM. “Those boys went out there to prove they were a force to be reckoned with. Aside from no one bringing beer, I think they did that.”

Amidst the celebration, there was some concern over the play, or lack thereof from Youngblood, who at one point completely whiffed on the puck, and let a Happy Hour player stride in for an easy break-away goal. This marks the first time in Penguin history, that Youngblood did not get a point on the night, and that he was completely out-gunned by an opposing player.

“It was my stick,” Youngblood stated, during the press-conference. “Or my skates…I mean my pads were in the way…oh hell, it is obvious I missed my Jefe! Damn you all! It has never been about me, it is Jefe Del Huevo! My captain! My partner! My everything!”

The Penguins remain on top of the Lemelin Division, but have their work cut out for them next week, when they take on the Maple Leafs. If they want to continue winning, they will need another complete team effort, and someone to bring some beer. Like a 12-pack of Miller Lite, or Bud Lite or any other kind of beer.