Walpole, MA – The Penguins continued their winning ways last night at the Iorio Arena, with a solid performance in their first match-up of the season against the Old Dogs. The Penguins skated into last night’s game plagued with injuries and suspensions, but were still a formidable force as they capped the night with a 7-4 victory over their division rivals. This win gives the Penguins a 3-0-1 record in their last four games, and puts them back in the hunt for the playoffs.
“I’m proud of those boys,” stated Penguins coach, Jacques Douchey. “When you go up against a team like the Old Dogs, you need to bring your ‘A’ game, and that’s just what they did. Besides, from what I could see, it was more of the Bitter Old Dogs, but what do I know? They just seemed a bit out of sorts. Maybe it was time for their Geritol break.”
Scoring came early and often for the Penguins, with goals from Youngblood and Sean Hickey in the 1st period. But the scoring did not stop there. Longtime Penguins fan favorite, Johnny Wilmot picked-up his first goal of the season, which left him weeping with joy in the corner of the rink.
“I want to thank my mom, and my dad,” rambled the ecstatic Wilmot after the game. “I dedicate my goal tonight to my lovely children Richard, Erich and Kate. I love you guys! You no longer have to bow your heads in shame as you walk through school. Your father is a winner! Your father is a champion! Someone spoon me, I think I’m going to faint!”
The Penguins took their foot off the accelerator in the 2nd period, allowing the Bitter Dogs to score two goals, and slash the Penguins lead to 3-2. Pat Hickey managed to score off of a Wilmot pass, once again giving the team a little breathing room.
“I love you Iorio,” shouted Wilmot from the rafters. “I got a goal and an assist and there is nothing anyone can do about it! I’m as giddy as a school girl! I’m as light as a feather! Thank you Walpole! Has anyone seen my pants?! Hell, who cares! I’m a man-eater, baby! Pants not required for this hockey-cat!”
But the Old Dogs would not put their tail between their legs just yet. Scoring two goals in the 3rd period, the Old Dogs cut the lead once again, leaving fans to wonder if this was the Penguins team of the past. A team that might take a lead, but could just as easily lose it under pressure. But this is not your father’s Penguins team, and the men stood tall under the pressure.
Youngblood, Sean Hickey and Sherwood all scored in the third, with assists coming from teammates Tragakis and Curchin. Like Wilmot, Sherwood's goal marks his first point of the season as well.
"That's how the Sherminator rolls mother-[expletive]," Sherwood stated. "Pop-goes the weasel, freaks! The Sherminator is ona bad-mother-{expletive]. Props!"
Curchin also picked up his first penalty of the season, and is now in the running for the PIM King Award.
“I know I’m a long shot,” admitted Curchin, during his post-game press-conference. “But if Dimock and Sniper get thrown out of the league, PIM King is up for grabs. Besides, I fall down a lot, so that should count for something.”
The Penguins have their work cut out for them next week, as they take on Analog, a team they lost to at the start of the season. Analog has been known to shoot heroine and take massive doses of speed before games, and this has proven to be detrimental to the Penguins in the past.
“We will start 4-a-days,” barked Jefe Del Huevo in the locker room. “I set the lines tonight, and I will set the lines tomorrow. I am your Jefe. We must prevail. Good must defeat evil, and Analog is truly evil. Jefe Del Huevo has spoken!”
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