Captain Regains Control

Walpole, MA – As the Provo Penguins prepare for their match-up against the Old Dogs, captain Chris Eighmy has taken drastic measures. With his leadership being questioned last week, the Penguins front-office has taken steps to prevent a repeat performance for tonight’s game. Eighmy, formerly known as Hombre Del Huevo, will now be known as Jefe Del Huevo.

“It is time for the Man of Egg, to become the Boss of Egg,” stated Bud Manning, spokesman for the Penguins. “Last week things got out of hand, and although Roode has placed himself in the Betty Ford Clinic, there is no room for a repeat performance this time around.

With the new title comes more responsibility and pressure, but this does not concern Jefe Del Huevo.

“I am the Boss of Egg or Egg Boss, depending on how your brain translates crap,” commented Jefe. “Tonight, there is a new sheriff…same as the old sheriff, but new just the same. I will set the lines. I will order the team around like a bunch of beatches, and I will destroy anyone that gets in my way! The Egg Boss has spoken!”

Only time will tell if Jefe Del Huevo has fully gained the trust of the team, but all signs are positive as they head into what is being called a trap-game. Although the Old Dogs are only 1-3 on the season, they have a lower GA than the Penguins. With the recent injury to the Penguins starting goalie, along with his rehab stint, the Penguins will head into the lions-den with rookie Mark S.

“I do 70’s music, 80’s music, 90’s music and big band, swing-type music,” admitted Mark S, who is also a DJ. “When I am on the ice, and looking at the oncoming pucks, I am doing karaoke the whole time I’m in the crease. Sometimes I even do the moon-walk, but that is only when I’m at the top of my game. Bring it on, I say! What a feeling!”