Foxboro, MA – In a heated match, the Provo Penguins took on their division rivals the Scorpions last night, at the Foxboro Sports Center. Both teams came out swinging, the result of which was a hard fought hockey game that thrilled hockey fans across the globe.
Next week, the Penguins will continue their quest for the cup, when they take on the Iceholes at the Walpole Iorio Arena. Although the Iceholes lost their first two games, they cannot be taken lightly. Rumors have risen in recent weeks, claiming that the Iceholes as a team had begun a radical campaign of ‘sexting’ NESHL referees. It has been reported that a number of players sent naked photos of themselves to the referees, in an effort to get more calls to go their way on the ice.
“Some people send naked photos to reporters,” claimed an anonymous source. “The Iceholes are taking a different spin on this, and are hoping that the photos will either sicken the referees enough to distract them during their games, or the referees will like the photos enough they will make calls go their way. In either case, it is win, win situation for the Iceholes.”
The Penguins have their own problems to deal with, considering their lack of team play on the ice. From players not passing, to the lack of back-checking, to playing finesse ‘girly’ hockey, the team needs to buckle-down in order to move forward.
“We cannot concern ourselves with other hockey teams sending pictures of their junk to referees,” commented team captain Chris Eighmy. “We have to play Penguins hockey damn it! It is time we play like a team, or I will personally crack some [expletive] skulls! Pass the [expletive] puck! Shoot the [expletive] puck! It’s really that simple. Get that [expletive] camera out of my [expletive] face!”
Puck drop is scheduled for 10:10 p.m. on Monday October 18th for the Penguins, and this is sure to be the greatest game of their lives!
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