Penguins Win Streak Ends With Controversy

Walpole, MA – The NESHL debacle continued last night at Iorio Arena, during last night’s bout between the Provo Liquor Penguins and The Herd. There was no love-lost in the match-up between the two teams, who have had a tumultuous past, full of animosity, hatred and utter disgust.

“It is only a matter of time before this thing escalates to the point-of-no-return,” commented NESHL insider, Bud Meister. “A game between these two teams is the equivalent of a cage-match on ice. My concern is that this will move from conventional warfare to nuclear weapons, and someone is going to get hurt. Why can’t we all just get along?”

The fun began when no scorekeeper was available for the game, leaving Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dumber to keep the game stats on a napkin in the back-pocket. For a good portion of the game, the score was incorrect on the scoreboard, and a penalty on The Herd was accidently reduced to 20-seconds due to the missing scorekeeper.

“I don’t know if it is really a big deal,” commented Tweedle-Dum after the game. “So what if the score was 3-2 and the Penguins could have had a power-play. I don’t think a situation like that could really affect the outcome of a game.”

The Penguins however disagree, and the Penguins front-office is looking into a potential lawsuit against the league.

“I cannot comment on a lawsuit at this time,” commented Nick Pantos, Penguins attorney. “What I can say is that I would not rule out the fact that we won’t be filing a lawsuit. I hope that is clear. It is not our indication to definitely not file a lawsuit. I have no further comment at this, time…except what the [expletive]! I mean seriously, I have no comment but what a [expletive] joke!”

The silver lining is that the OML (Old Man Line) of Tragakis, Sherwood and Lutfy combined for four-points. The scoring was started on a goal by Lutfy in the first period, with an assist by both Tragakis and Sherwood. Another goal came in the third period, although we don’t know who scored it because there was no scorekeeper, but we do know that Tragakis got the assist.

Penalties were awarded to Tragakis for an egregious high-sticking call, and Roode 2 got 2 minutes for fighting. There may have been more, but there is no stat sheet….

“There are only two games left?” asked Dimock the veteran Penguins forward. “Wow, and to think I have not attended one game this year! I may have to make one of these last two games. We’ll see…I don’t want to over-commit to the Summer Season.”