Youngblood Injured...Again

Walpole, MA – An injury is never a good thing for a hockey team, but the timing of the injury to Jon “Youngblood” Tenaglia, star-defenseman for the Provo Penguins, could not be worse. Last week, Youngblood took a 100 m.p.h. slap-shot to the face, completely shattering his jaw and nose. The injury came in the 2nd period of a game, where Youngblood was playing for his ‘real’ team.

“Youngblood is in the hospital right now,” stated his agent, Buster Klondike. “There is no need to be discussing who is right and who is wrong, and whether or not my client plays for two, three or four other teams. What is important is that Youngblood heals quickly, so he can help the Walpole Mud Cats make it to the playoffs…oh, and helps the Penguins too!”

Youngblood is listed in critical condition, and is scheduled for double-kidney replacement surgery at the Beth Israel Hospital in Boston. According to his doctor, he had already undergone triple-lung bypass and an appendectomy, and doctors were waiting for him to regain his strength before beginning the kidney replacement work.

“The injuries Mr. Tenaglia suffered from the impact of the puck were significant,” responded Doctor Jay Cutler from the hospital. “The puck was moving at such a great speed, it actually caused internal bleeding and what I like to call M.S.A., or Medical Shock and Awe to his entire body. At this point we will need to replace all of his internal organs, and potentially put him down completely if his body does not respond. Because of Mr. Tenaglia’s skill, we have to treat him like we would a race-horse at this point in time.”

This is the third significant injury that Youngblood has suffered to the face, with the last injury being the loss of all his teeth from a high-stick. Interestingly, Youngblood is a huge opponent of helmets and face-masks. According to Klondike, Youngblood is just about to release a book entitled ‘Damn The Helmets – Play Like A Man!’. The book focuses on how the use of helmets and face-masks is ruining the game of hockey, and real players shouldn’t wear any pads.

“These injuries have nothing to do with wearing a face-mask,” added Klondike. “What if it had been a bullet and not a puck? He probably would have died. So let’s not jump to conclusions here and say the mask would have prevented the injury. Besides, book sales start next week, and dates for a book signing will be set once my client has recovered from his injuries. We’ll see you at your local book-store real soon!”

It is still questionable whether Youngblood will play in tonight’s match-up with Analog, and fans can only wait to hear any news coming out of the Penguins front-office.

“I’m a huge Youngblood fan,” said a gleeful twelve-year-old Ricky Johnson from his hospital bed. Ricky is recovering from injuries he suffered during a recent youth hockey game. “After reading an excerpt from Youngblood’s book, I removed my helmet during my last game. But just because I hit the boards with no helmet, and suffered a severe concussion, it doesn't mean the helmet would have helped. Youngblood is right! Helmets and face-masks are for the losers!”