Penguins send Tragakis back to Minors

Thursday, 04.27.2010 / 9:26 AM /
News By Mike G. Morreale

Provo Penguins forward Steve Tragakis is headed back to the minors.

For Tragakis, 68, being returned to the Berlin Bombers in Germany, a minor hockey team for the Provo Penguins is no surprise. Tragakis appeared in one scrimmage with the Penguins last night, in which Tragakis had no points and a minus-53 rating in just over 34 minutes of ice time during the scrimmage. It was later determined that Tragakis suffered from a Ben-Gay overdose, which may have affected his ability to stand on his skates.

"I suck," Tragakis told Ben Wright of Senior Hockey League Tribune. “There are all different levels of sucking, and my suckability was pretty high last night. But I can’t believe they are sending me to Germany! I will miss the first official game of the season next week, and I’m totally bummed. My goal is to play in Germany for the week and get my game back…err…I mean to get a game…hell I just want to be accepted for my limited abilities!”

Tragakis made no mention of comments he made after the scrimmage, where he could be clearly heard saying ‘I think I’m your dad’ to one of the short, stocky bald-kids playing for the Icemen. His attorney also refused comment, citing that a blood test would be conducted in the near future, and that the similarities in appearance and the fact that the kid’s mom went to the University of Maine with Tragakis, were ‘purely a coincidence’.

"I've been in this situation before and there's a fine line between skating and not being able to skate," Tragakis said. " That's why you need some skill, and some endurance, and some knowledge of the game. I’m hoping to get some of that while in Germany. I’m also hoping that the players over there pay the ten-bucks to play and not come up with some lame bull-[expletive] excuse for not bringing the money to a scrimmage!"

Tragakis told Wright how depressed he was with the number of talented young players the Icemen had on their team.

"It's a good group of kids, but I messed up by allowing them to play us during the scrimmage," he said. "I can look bad all by myself, I don’t need a bunch of fifteen-year-olds skating up and down my ass to make me look even worse. I think the next time I schedule a scrimmage, it will be against the Shady Oaks Senior Center Geriatric Hockey Team, so I can at least skate with my peers. I blame The Icemen for sending me back to the minors, those [expletive] bastards!”