A few months back, when the Provo Penguins (then referred to as the Walpole Whalers) were knee-deep in the summer hockey season, one player was far from the hockey world. If you ask, Todd Cronin, he wasn't even on the same planet. When his teammates were banging it out on the ice, Cronin had removed himself from society, and holed himself up in a remote cave on a mountain-top in Nepal.
"I left the world for a while," admitted a very introspective Cronin, from his home in Newton. "It just got to be too much really. I was at the top of my game, and I was dominating the league. Unfortunately, that took its toll, and before I knew it my ego was writing checks that my body just couldn't cash."
What Cronin is referring too was a mental break-down of an epic proportion that ended with him running naked through the streets of Walpole, trying to hump harmless cats and dogs. When this incident was made public, Cronin found himself on the wrong side of the law, and PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), and interestingly enough best friends with Michael Vick.
"It was a rough time for sure," the Penguins player continued. "Humping animals in the streets of Walpole...I can't explain it. The next thing I knew I woke-up in a cave in Nepal, with visions of an Angry Penguin in my head. I could not get the vision out of my head. So I returned to Walpole to face my demons."
Those demons ended up being a hockey team that was struggling in the summer season, only to be a premier team in the winter season. In last night’s game against the Scorpions, Cronin had his second hat-trick of the season, and left the Scorpion goalie blubbering in a corner sucking his thumb.
"At the time, I didn't know what the Angry Penguin vision was all about," admitted Cronin. "But now I know. I wasn't meant to die in a cave in Nepal, hiding from PETA. I was meant to play hockey for the Provo Penguins, and to stop humping small, cuddly animals!"
Along with Cronin's hat-trick, Ryan Curchin had the first goal of the night in the first period, in what is sure to be the most amazing goal of the season from a guy that can barely skate. Sean Hickey had three assists on the night, and Youngblood fed one to Cronin for his third assist on the season, giving the Provo Penguins a 4-0 win on the night.
“It’s great having Cronin back from Nepal,” commented Penguins Captain, Chris Eighmy. “My dog is pretty skittish around him, but he is really proving to be a dominating force on the ice. I know that some of that has to do with the angry penguin logo, which instills fear into our opponents, but his goal scoring is also helping us out too!”
The Egg-man took a resounding lead as the PIM King, racking up 4-penalty minutes in the game, and proving once again that he will get on the score sheet one way or another. One other note, the Old Man Line was missing the Rapper, but Lutfy, Tragakis and Sherwood put on an exhibition of offensive-defense, which in and of itself is a hockey conundrum.
“We didn’t score any goals,” a tie-dye wearing Sherwood admitted. “But we didn’t let any in either. We like to let the younger guys go out and score, because it is good for their egos. The OML is about sharing the puck…or passing it off really quickly so that we aren’t responsible for messing things up too badly. Our egos were destroyed long ago.”
With the return of Cronin, and the change to the Provo Penguins, the team has found new enthusiasm and drive, which is translating into an amazing 3-1-2 start on the season. Next up for this motivated team is the Iceholes, which will definitely be the biggest game of their entire lives!
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