Walpole, Ma – With only minutes to prepare for a game, the Provo Penguins took their game to the next level in a 7-1 victory over the Eagle Brook hockey team in last nights tilt. The game, which was inadvertently not posted in the Penguins schedule, secured the Penguins second place standing in the Lemelin Division.
“Although the NESHL did us no favors, by neglecting to post this game on our schedule, our team accepted the challenge and played like professionals,” stated Mearn (aka. Mern). “I didn’t throw-up, which is disconcerting, considering I throw-up for every game, but we put another ‘W’ on the board. It kind of makes me not feel as bad about not puking.”
Although Eagle Brook was stacked with ex-NHL players and ex-Cons, the Provo Penguins (apparently known as the Provo Whalers for one game on the schedule), were able to dominate the ice from one end to the other. Eagle Brook put up a great fight, but in the end, the Penguins onslaught was too much.
Tenaglin, Hickey and Cronin all had a multi-goal night and Tragakis put one in the net as well to put the Penguins up by an insurmountable, seven goals.
“That’s how we roll mother-[expletive],” announce an excited Curchin the Sea-Urchin. “I got a penalty for roughing in the third-period, which is my way of contributing and striking fear into our opponents. I also stepped in and saved the entire game when Roode 1 was far enough out of the net to grab a slice of pizza at the snack-bar. I can’t wait to tell Giuseppe tonight when we are cuddling!”
Hickey, Cronin, Eighmy, Sherwood, Mearn, Dimock and Kenney all provided point support with assists in the game. Good news for Penguins fans, Kenney also got back into the mix with a 2-minute penalty for Tripping.
“I started off a little slow this year,” commented the veteran defenseman. “But I expect to be the PIM king before the end of the season. If I were a rapper, my nickname would be ‘Ass kicking mother-[expletive], or something like that. Right now I’m just happy to leave my mark on that Eagle Brook dudes head!”
Kenney has a long way to go to catch-up with the Eggman, who has 8 penalty minutes this season, and leads the team in that category. Tragakis moved into a tie for second place for PIM, with Roode II, when he was called for tripping in the second-period.
The night was a complete success, with hard work being seen on the ice, and off the ice with the Eggman’s contribution of new team hats. The effort that went into getting the sponsor, the hats, the jerseys and the socks was incredible.
“I drive a Mercedes,” Big Matty exclaimed. “I can’t be seen wearing a Provo Penguins hat, that would be embarrassing to me and my elitist peeps. I will give the hat to some charity that helps the poor, or needy…you know, those people you see that don’t drive Mercedes…poor people. It was either that or wipe my ass with it, which I might do anyway right before I give it to a poor person.”
Next week, the Penguins face the Maple Leafs, who have beaten them the last three match-ups. This is sure to be the biggest game of their lives.
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