Walpole, MA - In what could be the greatest game of their lives, the Provo Penguins face-off against the surging Iceholes. Although ranked last in the Lemelin Division, the Iceholes have kept every game close, and are now positioned perfectly to make a surge in the rankings.
"We planned it this way," commented Art Markle, Iceholes spokesman. "The Iceholes team made a conscious decision to lose every game, only to pound the living [expletive] out of the Penguins. We have planned this out for some time, and tonight we get to go after the Penguins."
Markle also mentioned that the Iceholes were planning on 'taking-out' a few key players on the Penguins team.
"Watch out," remarked one Icehole player, who wished to remain anonymous. "That's all I have to say. Tell Dimcock or whatever his name is that we are coming. Roode I and II should watch their backs. As for that guy Murchin, we'll let him play. We figure that way we are assured a victory!"
The Penguins players however were not taking these comments lightly, and had begun 6-a-day practices starting last Wednesday night.
"Talk is cheap," Lutfy responded during a recent interview. "And we can't win a face-off on the OML to save our lives, but we will give it our all. Tonight I plan on taking a few extra viagra, which should make it hard for the Iceholes tonight...real hard. I plan on reaming the Iceholes all night long!"
These strong words were backed by the 6-a-day practices that the team had been skating. Actually, it was just Tragakis that had been skating the 6-a-days, but he claimed that 'others' should be there as well.
"Where is everyone?" An exhausted Tragakis remarked from the Norfolk Arena. "I've been spitting-up blood, and I think I lost a kidney this morning, but you do what you have to do. Funny how I'm the only one out here however, but I know the guys are into this game as much as I am. This is the most important game of our young lives!"
The game will be played tonight at 9pm in Foxboro, which means that at least one player, Kenney, is guaranteed to need an additional call tonight to get him to the rink.
"Can you imagine me checking the schedule by myself?" Asked the veteran defenseman. "That is bull-[expletive]! When you have been in the league as long as I have you don't check the schedule. Someone checks it for you and gives you a call. That's how I roll mother-[expletive]!"
With both teams gearing-up for the match of the century, this could prove to be one of the most difficult battles for both teams. And at least one surprise is planned tonight before the game.
"Tonight, we have something new for all the players," Egg-man stated. "Tonight, we will actually have a game plan, and if that's not all, I will instate a pre-game drink minimum, and post-game drink maximum. It is all part of our plan to take our team to the next level. We are C- hockey damn it! So let's start playing like it!"
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