Walpole, Ma - At least one Analog player is talking out of school, and the results are causing some embarrassment for the Penguins players. Last night during a press conference, Neil Finklestein, Analog defenesman, called out individual Penguin's players before the upcoming game. This unprecedented event, marks the first time that a player from one hockey team has publicly ridiculed individual players from another team.
"Their whole team is horse-[expletive]," proclaimed a Finklestein, who was wearing a large clock around his neck, an indicator of how much time the Penguins had left as a premier team. "I laugh just thinking about them trying to compete with us on the same ice. I will single-handedly skate circles around them and score at will!"
The excerpt from the press conference, included the following references to individual Penguin's players:
On Dimock - "I'll eat his lunch, that orangatan looking mother-[expletive]!"
On Lutfy - "If this guy shows-up for two games in a row, I will crap a monkey out my [expletive]!
On Bilbo - "Speak English not Canadian mother-[expletive]!"
On Mearn - "I don't give a rats-ass whether it is Mearn or Mern, I will destroy the little mustache man!"
On Roode II - "I didn't know Roode I had a sister?"
On Tragakis - "Watch out for the blue-line you bald-ass mother-[expletive]!"
On Youngblood - "Has anyone seen Hickey's bitch? Youngblood is a has-been!"
On Cronin - "Little Oompa-Loompa looking mother-[expletive] is a joke. Get a hat-trick tonight and I will break you!"
On Egg-Man - "The only thing this guy is captain of is my jock - he's so slow they can time him transitioning from skating forward to backward with an hour glass!"
On Sherwood - "Sure would play if he could skate mother-[expletive]! Get it? Sherwood and Sure would?"
On Curchin - "Take off the Bruins Underoos and play hockey beatch! I've got your underoos right here girlie-man"
On Hickey - "Does his mama know he is playing a man's sport? Go home you loser!"
On Roode I - "Wake-up Roode 1...oh I'm sorry, you were unconscious you concussed mother-[expletive]!
On Kenney - "The one-time PIM king is a Sally-boy. Don't embarrass me by mentioning the egg-roll eater and Finklestein in the same sentence!"
The question remains if Finklestein's comments will serve to fuel the team against Analog, or will the Penguins fold under the added pressure? The answer will come tonight at 10:25pm in Foxboro.
No comments:
Post a Comment