Sponsorship Discussions Take Turn for the Worse

Provo Liquors came to the table to negotiate a sponsorship, and the ball now sits squarely in the Whalers rink. Provo stepped-up the discussions with an offer for a complete name-change, including new jerseys for the remainder of the year. The undisclosed sponsorship amount would bring the seasonal costs down to an 'extremely reasonable amount' for each player.

However, the discussions got bogged down when it came to deciding a team name.

"I was pumped," admitted the Egg-man. "We finally get a sponsorship, and the amount of the sponsorship was more than we had anticipated by a long-shot. But now we are in limbo, all because of the team name."

What the Egg-man is referring too is the request from Provo that the team be re-named to the 'Provo Pinot Noirs', after the red wine.

"Pinot Noir is the rage right now," commented an undisclosed source for Provo. "We need to sell more wine, and what better way than to sponsor a team with the name Provo Pinot Noirs."

With multiple attempts to change the minds of Provo, including the Provo Panthers, Provo Penguins, or even the Provo Bruins (a close cousin to the Providence Bruins), the Whalers were willing to be flexible and bring additional ideas to the table. But Provo would not budge.

"If it is not the Provo Pinot Noirs, than we will not sponsor the team," the source added. "It is our belief that a team sponsorship should showcase our store and our products. If the rage next year is White Zinfandel, than we would want to change the name each season, and make the team the Provo White Zins or something like that. We can sell more product this way."
Discussions are planned for later this week, however, the players involved in the talks are less than thrilled with this.

"You have to be [expletive] me!" Barked one player who requested to remain nameless. We caught up with the player as he was finishing his plate of egg-rolls at the Peking Garden. "Can you imagine being the Provo Pinot Noirs? Or the Provo White Zins? This is absolute bull [expletive]! I'm not skating onto the ice wearing a jersey with any of those [expletive] names on them. I would have to stop leading the league in PIM if that were the case."

Currently the Whalers are also looking at sponsorship deals with "Sally's Flower Shop", and "I am Woman", a woman's clothing consignment shop. One can only guess what the team name will be if either of these sponsorships come to light. In any case, the Whalers hope to have a signed contract by end of next week.