In what was originally thought to be a fun hockey rivalry, is now being considered to be ‘dangerous’ and ‘over-the-top’ according to local police. In a series of events over the past week, including a gang-like attack of a hockey player at a Foxboro restaurant, one team has taken the rivalry to a new level, which may land them in prison. Most recently, a FedEx truck, carrying a shipment of Whalers Jerseys was hit just outside of the Canadian border, delaying shipment of the jerseys for tonight’s game. The only evidence left behind, was a Maple Leafs jersey which apparently got hung-up on the trucks hydraulic lift when the suspects fled the scene.
“Yea, like much good too, no?” Said Bill Reposo. Reposo was responsible for ordering the shirts. “Game time on to go tomorrow.”
Reposo’s comments were a clear indication that the team would ‘not take these matters lightly’, and that the past attack and truck jacking would be fully investigated.
“We have a runaway team,” commented Larry Epinstall, Whalers attorney. “One team thinks they can run over the Whalers on and off the ice, but I can tell you the Whalers will come to the ice ready to take it to the next level.”
Maple Leaf player, and NESHL Walpole Commisionar Jim Lawler will not be at the game tonight, and had this to say.
“This is bull [expletive],” Lawler barked. “Everything in the blog is bull [expletive]! I wouldn’t be surprised if I was being misquoted in the blog right now. I will not be at the game tonight, to make a statement. The runaway team is the Whalers, and whoever is writing their damn blog.”
What is known for a fact is that Lawler will be completely misquoted in the blog. What is not known is will the Whalers show-up tonight ready to play the Maple Leafs. Not expected to play tonight are Big Sean Kenney, who had entered the International Egg-Roll eating contest, which unfortunately coincides with the game.
Also not playing is a new player who goes by his P-town stage name of Dave Sally. Sally was recently hurt in a t-bagging incident in his P-town bungalow.
“All my friends talked about t-bagging,” giggled Sally. “So I wanted to know what all the fuss was about. I boiled some water, poured it in a cup, and squatted bare-assed until my ball-bag was floating in the boiling water. I for one am not a fan of t-bagging! Holy ^$$#@! that hurt!”
While the antics off-ice are under investigation, the rivalry continues on the ice tonight at 10:10pm.
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